


Run Away

by ScarletPassion



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:01:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28292787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScarletPassion/pseuds/ScarletPassion
Summary: Ghorza's helped the Thieves' Guild thrive once more and got really close to her fellow Nightingale Brynjolf. But when the relationship is all physical and nothing more, she has to do some reflecting.
Relationships: Brynjolf (Elder Scrolls)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	Run Away

**Author's Note:**

> I might continue this sometime. I've got a few ideas for her.

"Where are you going?" I knew it was stupid to ask that. After all, I knew the answer. It was always the same.

"Back to the guild."

"You don't want to stay?" Another stupid question that I knew the answer to.

"There's work to be done, lass."

He leaned down, a curtain of copper locks fell over his face and cast a shadow over his green eyes. I let my lower lip jut out in a serious pout, but it only made him laugh as he pressed his lips to it. It would've been a quick peck had I not grabbed him by the hair and flipped him over so that he was laying beneath me.

"Stay." I whispered against his lips, tightening my thighs on his midsection. He shook his head, still smiling at me. 

"You know I want to." He murmured, reaching up to push my wild auburn curls back. His fingers lingered against my jaw and trailed down to trace my bare collarbone and shoulders. I rolled my eyes at him, but didn't shrug his hands away as they danced across my body.

"If you wanted to stay then you would." I grumbled. I ran a hand down his black leather clad body. The nightingale armor suited him, it was as if he were meant to wear it. A small part of me envied him because of that. I'd never fit in anywhere in my life, and always felt out of place even where I was accepted.

I spent a year working with the Dark Brotherhood, became their listener, and yet I still felt like I didn't belong. I've been with the Thieves' Guild less than that and am now a Nightingale and their leader. Brynjolf and I... I can't say that we're in love, that would mean we both have feelings for one another. But we did share a bed regularly. He was the first person to look past my strange appearance and see me as a person. It was a good feeling and I assumed that was where my feelings sprouted from. 

I only wish he'd reciprocated them.

"You know that's not true." He grabbed my hips and flipped us so that he was hovering over me now. His smile was gone now, replaced by a serious line. I rolled my eyes at him and kept my mouth shut. I could've argued with him, keeping him with me a little while longer. But I just didn't have it in me tonight. I was tired of pointless arguments and conversations that never went anywhere.

"I'll see you at the Flagon, lass." He sighed, climbing off of the bed. I rolled over so that my back was to him as he left. I didn't want him to see my tears, I was ashamed of them.

My chest burned with anger as the familiar blanket of cold loneliness covered me once more. I knew that I should've kept business and pleasure separate. I knew that when something seemed too good to be true that it really was. But Brynjolf... There was something so gentle and inviting about him that made all the red flags disappear into the background. I think, more than anything, I wanted him to be the person I so desperately needed him to be. But he wasn't, and it seemed he never would be.

I wiped furiously at my eyes, scrubbing the tears away until the skin around them was raw. It was foolish to cry over a man, especially one who used me as something to keep his bed warm. I needed to do something productive, something that would keep me away from Brynjolf for a while. I didn't want to leave the Guild for an extended period of time, but they'd gotten by without me in the past. Plus, they were a lot better off now than they had been when I first joined up.

Where would I go, though?

I wracked my brain, thinking of the rumors and guilds I'd heard of since my return to Skyrim nearly two years ago. There was the Dawnguard... But God, I didn't want to risk becoming a vampire while fighting them. I wasn't skilled enough with potions to have enough on me to stay healthy. I wasn't interested in the College of mages at the moment, either. The college had... Not the greatest reputation, and I wasn't looking for another project like the Thieves' Guild at the moment.

There was a guild in Whiterun, a respected one. The Companions, I thought they were called. They were revered and people often spoke of their leader with great respect. Perhaps I could learn a few things from them and find a place among their ranks. It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. And Whiterun was far enough away from Riften that the chances of me running into Brynjolf were slim to none.

I rolled off of Brynjolf's bed and started pulling my clothes and armor on. I wouldn't wear my Nightingale armor to meet the Companions. I could always go home first and check on the kids before going to Whiterun. I knew they were in good hands with Lydia looking after them, but I still missed them. A part of me felt bad for not being around more, but I'd done my job by getting them off the streets and giving them a warm bed, food, and someone to look after them and protect them. 

I paused at the door, my hand grasping the cold knob hesitantly. I couldn't just leave without telling anyone. I also didn't want to face Brynjolf. He probably wouldn't ask me any questions, but that brought me no comfort. His disinterest would hurt me more than anything. Maybe it'd be best if I spoke to Delvin since Vex was working a job. He'd get the word to Brynjolf so he could delegate things.

With a sigh, I wrenched the door open and slunked through the cool, dimly lit cistern. Almost everyone was asleep now, except for Brynjolf and Ninruin. Neither of them acknowledged me as I passed, beelining straight for the door to the Flagon. There were more people milling about here than there had been last year. Vekel was practically glowing in his own intimidating way as he opened mead and poured wine.

"What's got you up so late? Besides your bed buddy." 

Delvin's voice was gruff and low. The sea of voices would have drowned him out if he hadn't been right behind me. I rolled my eyes at his suggestive tone as I turned to face him. What Brynjolf and I had been doing was no secret. But we also didn't like people talking about it outright. In a perfect world, our private lives would be just that; private.

In a perfect world, our private lives would consist of more than just sharing a bed.

"I'm leaving for a while." I muttered, not taking the bait. I leaned down, resting my palms on the edge of the table so that we were eye level.

"And why're you telling me?"

"Because I don't know how long I'll be gone. I need someone to delegate things, make sure they stay smooth while I'm away." 

"And I take it I'm the man for the job, then?" He cocked an eyebrow. 

He knew why I was telling him, he knew I was avoiding telling Brynjolf myself. He just wanted to hear me say it. I kept my lips pressed together, staring him down silently. I wasn't going to admit anything to him, it wasn't his business. The only thing he needed to worry about was the Guild and nothing more.

One corner of Delvin's mouth twitched and he let out a sigh. He shook his shaved head and took a swig of ale. The gears in his head turned as he pondered what to say to me. I was itching to get out of here, but I couldn't leave until I knew Delvin would take care of things for me. There was no way I'd be able to sleep at night if I left the guild hanging.

"You can't hide from him forever." He was amused, but the look in his eyes was troubled. I wet my lips and straightened up, taking a small step back.

"I'm not hiding. I'm taking an extended vacation."

"Call it what you want, but we both know what it is. And we both know things would go over much more smoothly if you'd tell him yourself."

Delvin was right, of course. He was always right, but that didn't mean I'd take his sage advice. Brynjolf's heart and mind were impenetrable fortresses. I spent nearly a year trying to pick those locks and gain access, but he kept me at arms' length at all times. I didn't owe him anything, least of all an explanation of why I was leaving. He would know why, he wasn't a moron. 

"I'll send word when I can and see how things are going." 

It wasn't a goodbye, but it was as close as I was willing to get to one. I strode out of the Flagon, my heart aching more and more with each step I took. I knew it wouldn't be forever, but it would be long enough to break my heart all over again. Maybe the distance would make me forget the feel of his hands, his lips and how his laugh was like music. Maybe working would keep my mind from wandering to the way his eyes glistened beneath the shadows of his cowl or how his armor hugged the strong muscles of his shoulders and arms.

  
I hoped leaving would erase it all. Maybe then I could move on and find  _ home.  _


End file.
